This Lesbian Life Lesson is courtesy of my favorite Daughter in Law, heretofore referred to as DIL, and The Girl.

Dude, don’t be selfish when it comes to sex. I mean, okay, sometimes you have an amazing orgasm and you can’t perform. That happens sometimes. At least it does if you’re sleeping with the right person. If it never happens to you … well, you might want to re-think your partner. I’m just sayin’. (They say) sex isn’t everything but … it’s up there. Anyway. I digress.

If you frequently fall asleep right after you have an orgasm and your partner is … unsatisfied …. you are what The Girl likes to call A Sex Hog. Don’t be A Sex Hog. It’s just not cute.
For the record, there are those among us who are partnered with Stone Butches and who never “perform.” I’m not talking about you all. I’m pretty sure that you aren’t Sex Hogs. You please your partner in other ways. Please don’t send me hate mail. At the same time, you still shouldn’t be *selfish* in bed. I mean, you might not give your partner oral sex or whatever but there are surely things that they like. I’m sure you do those.

Now, if you are someone who tends to lose their ability to perform after an orgasm, there are things you can do to not be A Sex Hog. Once again, I’ll use me as an example. Once I have The Big One (generally after a few Not So Big Ones), I am ready to sleep. I have been known to tell my partners that if they plan on getting any, they’d better get it first or they may well be out of luck. I mean, Lord. Having three orgasms (on a good day more!) can take a lot out of a girl. My partners are generally forewarned. Especially since I never know which one is going to be The Big One. It could be number one. It could be number five. Hard to say. Better get it while the getting’s good.

I’ve said all that to say: if you tend to fall asleep, then make sure your partner has an orgasm first. Otherwise, you’re in for an unhappy girlfriend.

One final, completely unrelated note: my first nonprofit job was in an organization that you all know. I won’t say the name but little girls come ’round your house in the spring and beg you to buy Thin Mints or, in my case, those chocolate covered peanut butter cookies. Anyway, their national slogan, which caused much controversy and thus was discontinued was “Cookie Organization, where the girl comes first.”

Make that your rule if you’re A Sex Hog: let the (other) girl come first.