Does your harness chafe?

My friend S (whose name I have not gotten permission to use, so I will just have to use her first initial in case she doesn’t *want* anyone to know she uses such things) responded to my request for topics with this: How about research/feedback on harnesses? Mine chafes pretty bad, and there is one out there that is cloth and fully washable…

Once I got over the shock that this particular friend *had* a harness and *used* it, I started thinking about harnesses. This does not make for a productive work day. Just sayin’.

BG (the roommate, btw, not my girlfriend because I, sadly, do not *have* a girlfriend) were watching an old Suzanne Westenhoefer show on LOGO. My fellow femme (who, btw, is gorgeous. You should go click on that link and see her photos) announced to queers everywhere that her new(ish) girlfriend introduced her to dildos and harnesses. Or, as I like to call them, Snap On Tools.

As Suzanne pointed out, SOTs are not terribly convenient. Nor, I might add, are they romantic. Somewhere in P-town, Suzanne and Jennifer (her girlfriend), found the most amazing invention: a bike short harness.

It turns out, there are more kinds of harness than I could have imagined. There’s the regular, garden variety harness (in lots of styles, but all roughly the same), there are thigh harnesses, even one that’s only loosely called a harness – it goes near your chin – I guess for simultaneous penetration and oral sex. It is a far better lesbian than I who could manage that with any level of grace. There was even a thong harness. Yeah, cause while you’re doing that particular activity you want something rubbing around your butt. However, in the interests of research, I inquired of a Very Butch Woman. She shocked me by saying that the thong one might not be such a bad idea. While the idea of a piece of leather in such a sensitive area doesn’t seem like a good plan, the lack of rings and buckles does. Huh. I’ve never tried one myself but if I ever do, I’ll be sure to report back. Well, assuming that the other party in the trying agrees to have all her business broadcast.

I couldn’t find those bike short harnesses online, so I can’t tell you anything about them. I thought about emailing Suzanne but then I don’t know if it is her who reads the email or not. Plus, how weird would that be?

I found this one at Babes in Toyland. Some users have said it’s great for soft packing but not great for actual sex. So, that’s out, so far as I’m concerned. (Side note: wanna hear a fairly hilarious conversation? Listen to a butch describe packing to a bunch of straight chicks.)

There is a harness with an anal plug.

S mentions a cloth one, but I couldn’t find that either. When I googled “cloth harness” I got all kinds of things appropriate for Peggy Sue but that’s all.

If you’re not a size queen, you could always consider the harnessless dildo. I used to have one but it never thrilled me. What can I say? I AM a size queen. The bigger, the better, darlings. That would definitely solve the chafing problem, but I can tell you that it’s difficult to keep in place. I *know* the website says otherwise, but really, I couldn’t keep the damn thing *in*. If you’re not used to being the one penetrated, I’d also imagine it could be uncomfortable. I’ve had reports of users who totally dug it. Anyone ever tried one and want to comment? If you don’t want to comment publicly, you can email me at dichotomous nature at gmail dot com. Leave out the space between dichotomous and nature, of course.

Oh, and as for the gadget one uses *with* a harness … I don’t recommend the ones that are supposed to feel “life like.” While they do, they also tend to get ejected at a critical moment. Or so I’m told.

If you’re interested in using a SOT and have no idea how it might work, go read How to Strap On on about.com. Everyone has to have a first time, right?

Thus ends my harness research. Y’all tell me YOUR stories.