At the beginning of summer, I was shopping for a new bag. I found one I completely fell in love with, but I didn’t buy it. It was an impractical color (meaning: it wasn’t black) and it was $90. I have looked at purses for the last 2 months and still couldn’t find one that I wanted. Because of $90, I spent most of the summer without a new bag.

I tried to settle for a plain bag, a practical one, but I wasn’t happy. I kept thinking about this one, wanting this one. Finally, this week, I went and bought the damn thing. Thank Goodness they still had one. It’s perfect. It’s beautiful, it’s big enough without being too big, it has enough pockets, the shoulder strap fits over my shoulder if I want to carry it that way – which I rarely do – but it’s short enough that I can carry it in my hand. Did I mention it’s beautiful? It is. It makes me happy to look at it. In fact, it’s hanging on the handle of the door where I can see it from my sofa. Where my laptop and I are currently, writing this. (Though the picture of it was taken while it was lying on my bed so I could take a good picture with my phone camera.)

Darlings, you should never settle. Not for purses, not for dinner, not for apartments, not for jobs, definitely not for women. I believe you should get exactly what you want and what makes you happy. I’m not suggesting that you should go barefoot until you can afford $1,100 Christian Louboutin boots, especially if you are a student and/or young, but surely you can hold off until you can afford the $120 Nine West pair instead of buying $50 boots that will hurt your feet and you’ll hate?

How many times have you said to yourself, or heard someone else say, that this particular thing was “good enough”? Probably lots. You might even convince *yourself* that it’s good enough, that it’s the right thing. You will know if it’s not. (Unless, of course, you have commitment issues but that’s a whole other post.)

Wait for the right thing. Wait for the right job. Wait for the right woman. Especially wait for the right woman. Relationships that are only so-so have tendency to go bad and that’s not good for you, that’s not good for your self-image and you can do better. Wait for the right girl.

I’m not telling you to hold out for perfection. There are no perfect women. There are, however, women who are perfect *for you.* Don’t let anyone tell you that you have to fix all manner of things before you’re acceptable to date. You’re fine. You will meet someone who can deal with your flaws, just as you’ll have to deal with theirs. You will meet someone who thinks that twirling your hair is cute rather than annoying. You’ll find someone who thinks your obession with grammar and punctuation is … well, if not cute then at least not crazy. You’ll find someone who thinks that going to Graceland on vacation is a great idea. Whatever your quirk is, you’ll eventually meet someone who likes it, or at the very least thinks it isn’t a deal breaker.

You will find someone who is right for you. You’ll know if it’s right. I think that if we pay attention, we all have the warning signs that someone isn’t right for us. We just ignore them. Stop ignoring yourself. Listen to what your intuition is telling you. And stop settling. You deserve to have it all: intellectual stimulation, great sex and romance. Not to mention fabulous bags and expensive boots!