I recently wrote to Dawg (for some reason) that “I’m a former Catholic with redneck-moonshine-running Southern roots, so I can’t say much about crazy, can I? I’m pretty sure my family wrote the book on crazy.” Add to that rather colorful mix, that I grew up In. Da. Hood. Oh, I don’t mean “on the other side of the tracks.” I mean, “tracks? What tracks? Who’s fucking shootin’ up?”
Yeah, it was like that.
It was a racially semi-diverse neighborhood but the majority of the residents were black. I am not. I am biracial but my birth father is Native American. My mom and adopted dad are just about as white as you can get.
Still, despite my nonblending appearance, I didn’t really stand out. It wasn’t that I tried to blend or whatever. I just *did*. These were my friends and all that, you know? I didn’t know anything different. The music of my youth wasn’t The Mamas & the Papas and the typical 70s groovy music or acid music, but Grandmaster Flash, Kurtis Blow, the Sugar Hill Gang, the Commodores and like that.
Then, when I was 15, we moved to Cedar (mother fucking) Springs, MI. Farm community. Where I did not blend despite being more visually similar.
Here’s an example of my not blending:
On my first day at the new school, I decided I should be more conservative looking, you know? I was pretty sure these kids didn’t dress like I did. So, I wore a black skirt (not too short, not leather), a white button down loose outside the skirt but belted w/ a wide belt that was slung around my hips, black hose (but not fishnet or anything) and black boots (knee high, about 2.5” heel, so not too high).
I almost forgot to tell you about my hair. Yes, the hair. Because that’s where I really attracted attention. I have no pictures of this hairstyle because my mother hated it and she said that if I wanted to look that ridiculous, then she did not have to record it for posterity.
What was the Mom-hated-hairstyle? Cornrow braids. But not Bo-Derek-in-10 cornrow braids. Nope, sugarplums, I had ghetto fabulous nearly-waist-length-with-beads cornrow braids.
People looked at me a lot. And, probably? Not in a good way. I ended up getting my hair cut shortly thereafter. I admit it. I succumbed to peer pressure. Or at least peer weird looks.
After that, I went to a private Catholic college. I learned to be a white chick at my high school but even more so at college. I mean, I’m not so malleable as to completely change my personality but I did need to be able to get along, you know?
But guess what? Every now and again my roots show. One of my friends pointed out to me that I, the Grammarian, frequently end a sentence in a preposition. I say all the goddamned time “Where you at?” Apparently, that is because of the ethnicity of my peer group when I was at my formative years. (Or so the friend in question – who was herself of that ethnicity – told me.)
Recently, I had a Twitter exchange that cracked me up for so many reasons.
Here’s how it went:
Me: and I have totally jacked your *blink blink*
Friend: You have jacked it? Translation?
Me: Oh, right. You don’t speak hoodrat. ‘Jacked’ means “I totally stole it.”
I catch myself saying things like “Well, I can be down with the simple life sometimes but I’m a fan of the Four Seasons” (hello? down with and the Four Seasons in the same sentence?) or “I jacked your *blink blink*” Sigh.
I expertly meld my White Girl with my Hoodrat and, every now and again, throw in some Indian for good measure. (Cause really? I can make frybread that will make you moan in gastronomic delight.)
You know that expression “You can’t go home again”? Sometimes, you can’t leave it either.
So all that is to say: whatever your roots, try to accept them. Bring them into your current life rather than trying to hide them. Because really? They’re gonna sneak up on you if you don’t.
The Femme Fairy Godmother is the alterego of a Michigan femme who loves to give (mostly unsolicited) advice to everyone regardless of sexual orientation. Also, the FFG has an overwhelming urge to mother everyone. And by mother I mean tell you how to live your life.
rugby8
October 6th, 2009 at 1:20 pm
interesting. what if your ‘roots’ are two jerks who thought that food, clothing & a roof were all you gave to kids. we were around to just be told to shut the hell up. roots? physical abuse, mental neglect and a non-existent sense of self-worth? sorry darlin’ I’m gonna disagree w/ you on this one. the farther away I get from them, the happier I am.
Kyle
October 6th, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I love it, I love stories about growin up and how our childhood circumstances effect our adulthoods. And I think it’s totally cool that your roots show sometimes. That’s what makes you interesting, so please don’t ever try to be bland
As for my roots showing, they do, sometimes in odd ways. Like the cowboy/southern accent that sneaks in or maybe a little valley girl or other 70s influenced cultural tells. I figure, let it fly, sister… if they can’t hang with it, that’s their loss, yeah?
Mrs. Micah
October 6th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
This is something I’m just starting to grow into. For years, I hated that I was the nerdy girl with weird tastes who didn’t like going to the mall and would rather make websites or watch sci-fi or quilt and read old books. I would try to fight it and I wasted a lot of time that I could’ve spent being that girl and enjoying it!
Inspiring post.
Forever Femme
October 8th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
Glad to see you’re still doing what you do…and doing it well. I agree that our roots are with us no matter what. But, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to try to pull the stump up and use it for kindling.
Camlin
October 9th, 2009 at 11:58 am
My roots?
Second generation Canadian. Dutch and Belgian roots, which translates into an affinity for waffles and nostalgia for the smells and sounds of a dairy barn. Small town girl who never quite fit in…even though I wasted way too much time trying. My roots show up in every story that I write, one way or another.
Dragon
October 9th, 2009 at 5:37 pm
LOL I guess I have been around “hoodrats” enough to understand it.